DISCLAIMER: This blog is being used to help me deal with the passing of our daughter Emelina, whom was delivered stillborn on Feb 21. These are MY feelings and I will not be sorry for having them.

Monday, May 19, 2014

***sensitive posting***

Baby #3

In April we announced to our family and friends that I am pregnant with baby #3.  I have been so sick that when the doctor offered meds at my 8 week check in I took them and they have been a saving grace as up to that point I was barely functioning... I question our sanity of this pregnacy with M being gone so much ...  This means that Cat has been doing more and eating a whole lot more prepared meals... Hopefully unlike my pregnacy with Emelina the sickness will be over in the Next few weeks. 

I am trying really hard not to complain and be thankful but even with the meds I struggle to cook and eat. Back pain is an every day issue and I started to show at 5 weeks which means I am firmly into maternity clothes.  

It is hard to be excited when I am constantly sick, in pain and fighting fear...fear that this baby won't come home,this time around I am considered high risk and my doctor will make the referral this week not sure how this will work. I know we purposefully try not to think past the next few months because that really gets my fear going...