DISCLAIMER: This blog is being used to help me deal with the passing of our daughter Emelina, whom was delivered stillborn on Feb 21. These are MY feelings and I will not be sorry for having them.

Thursday, January 9, 2014

The myth of parenting after losing a child....

Honestly one of the best articles written on parenting after losing a child. I can honestly say I was the parent that pulled back because I had no choice it was my way of coping . 18 months later I had to become the "parent"...not easy for anyone of us. I can tell you it is not for the weak, or for someone with less determination. I have learnt many not so pretty things about myself,(learnt more today) but I would not change it. 

I have some pretty amazing people that are by my side when I ask and when I don't. I have had to change my career path, our family path and my life path. But not for one moment do I ever stop trying because at the end of the day are children are blessing and we have no idea what tomorrow brings. Trust me, I have some days I question everything. I made it this far why stop now...

Saturday, January 4, 2014


Is the word for the last 6 weeks being a single parent to a child dealing with major anxiety issues and being a leader during a very busy time. Adding to that the announcement that my boss was leaving...and I was brought to the breaking point...

So after running on empty for a few weeks with the help of my boss I decided with his support to change roles... In the next few months I am going be going into a role that is Monday to Friday,no nights ( unless I choose), I get to set my hours and is not in leadership. Which is pretty much a dream job, but the even better news is I am keeping the same boss...I am following him. Which has given me some relief, he knows me and knows my struggles but most of all he is giving me the ability to put Cat first. I may not have a huge support group here in Calgary BUT I have support at work, and that is a huge win. I saw this a few weeks ago and shared it with my boss, the next day it was taped to my computer... He may drive me nuts but he ALWAYS has my back. 

I will leave you with this thought.