DISCLAIMER

DISCLAIMER: This blog is being used to help me deal with the passing of our daughter Emelina, whom was delivered stillborn on Feb 21. These are MY feelings and I will not be sorry for having them.

Thursday, March 14, 2013

Every day life....

Today at work was rough, I was told that even though I have the best team in my area. My boss wants my leadership to change and basic made me feel horrible. He has mentioned a few time about how we as leaders are not allowed to have bad days.

He has no idea as does anyone else... every day I sit in my truck and prep myself on how I can do it... That my life is ok and that I am going to make a difference... And that I can make it though the day..
He has no clue or anyone else how hard it is just to get out of bed, how hard I hide my grief and frustration... And how hard it is to know that I should have been going back from a mat leave not been in my job for 8 months...

Telling someone that it is okay to skin your knees or to fall down... might work for some but when they have all really been paralyzed... Well ... It destroys them because honestly I don't need another battle or fight...

I am great at hiding my pain but it does not mean it is gone...quite the opposite...it means that I am putting my families need for a mom and wife first. I am a shell of the person I use to be...





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