DISCLAIMER: This blog is being used to help me deal with the passing of our daughter Emelina, whom was delivered stillborn on Feb 21. These are MY feelings and I will not be sorry for having them.

Friday, May 18, 2012


I tried posting this last week but just could not get it to flow so here I am trying again....

After many weeks of waiting it is finally done...My husband has a new job in Calgary Alberta (about 10 hours east of were we live presently). This is something we have been looking into for the past year. The money that my husband can make out in Alberta is so much greater then here in the Fraser Valley. I originally thought that I would be dealing with our house, Cat and an infant, but be on Mat leave. Instead the same week Mariusz starts his job is the same week I go back to work. I am lucky that my mom will be able to help me out for the month of June this will give me enough time to find help for July and August. We have decided that come September Cat will be following Mariusz to Alberta....Mostly due to my crazy hours and 3 late nights. It makes way more sense as well as with my mom and dad there allowing Mariusz the support he needs as well as he is home earlier. I will follow once the house sells or when I hit 30 weeks if I end up becoming pregnant I will then move to be with them regardless of whether the house sells.

 Our townhouse will go up in the middle of January maybe the fall..I highly doubt it...I have to do all the decluttering etc myself and it is easy to decide what to get rid of not so easy to get rid of it... As well as we need to do some renovation on our townhouse as not much is moving in our area so to help it stand out we are going to upgrade the master bathroom and fix up the basement were our dog chewed the baseboards as a puppy. Since I found out last week I have been on a major declutter kick....I will sell some of our stuff but if I can give it away it will be done. With such a big move I am NOT moving anything that is not something we want....For the past 10 years Mariusz and I have been willing to take any ones freebies...we have 2 futons, 2 patio tables all kinds of toys etc...Basically lots of stuff...you should see our garage, so with this being a very expensive move I am downsizing huge....My thought is we can buy when we get there instead of paying tons to move it. So we are going to really be going with very little by the time I am done...I am even going to give away most of my plates etc...they are old and chipped so in my mind when I have a sold sticker on my house they will be donated.

These big changes are leaving me in a very odd position....I am very very PROUD of my amazing husband, this is an absolutely amazing opportunity that he has been dreaming about...he is going to be paid what he deserves and will get all the benefits he has always wanted. I wish I could follow him right away but between my job and the house it makes way more sense to do it this way. I know I am going to miss him and Cat when she goes but I truly think that this is the best for all of us....

It is funny since this job offer and speaking to my mom....I am thinking that I truly am going to follow my dream, I am going to work on the behind the scene (the paperwork to establish the foundation in Emelina's honor) as soon as I have my hubby ready to go...As I think I am ready to get out of the "rat" race and finally be able to set my own hours allowing me to be there for Cat and hopefully another child in the future...I have always dreamed it but have been afraid to do so always wanting that steady pay cheque. This journey has really made me see that I can achieve anything I put my mind to and is making me realize what is truly important in life. Don't get me wrong I love my job but with a young family the hours are tough as Cat will be going to bed as I am getting home. This summer I am going to do one thing on my two days off with my girl and that is focus on her and what she wants to do...I have a feeling that is going include many, many beach days, as well as water slide days as those are her favorite summertime things.

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