DISCLAIMER: This blog is being used to help me deal with the passing of our daughter Emelina, whom was delivered stillborn on Feb 21. These are MY feelings and I will not be sorry for having them.

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

New Normal

So tonight I was on facebook and clicked on my brother in laws event page that he created for his birthday, and one of the people that has RSVP has an infant picture as their profile.......the event is worded in this way...

"It's a celebration! I will be turning 36, so I would like to invite you and your significant other to our home for a BBQ."

So...off my husband had to go and find out if any infants were coming...and his brother is going to try to confirm but I told Mariusz not to worry about it I don't want to be a pain. I was looking forward to getting out for a date night with Mariusz since my mom will have Cat, but it is very likely I will be hanging out at home...oh well such is life. I am sure I could find someone to hang out with but most likely if I don't go I am going to start sorting Lego (I will write more soon about this). I can handle infants while shopping but being around one all night..no thanks, I have only spent 2 hours in my nephews presents...such is my NEW normal.

Today I went into my new branch and was soo happy to see my awesome coworkers and got so much love from them. It is going to be a struggle in 6 weeks going back but I know that this group has my back and it makes me tear up when I think about them, and how blessed I am to have them in my life. Everyone was so excited to see me as was I. I was initially a little nervous to go into the branch but I am so happy I did. We celebrated with a dinner out at Red Robins...hard place to eat when I am on a diet (I ended up getting a chicken breast sandwich with a side salad and did not eat the bun).

I was thinking today about the fact that Mother's day is around the corner and what is my post for Mother's day is going to look like as I have amazing women in my life that I want to honour one of them being my Grandmother, whom passed away in 9 years ago 10 days before we got married. This made me think about someones blog I was reading that said they were one day closer to her son...I was thinking that I am comforted that Emelina is with my grandmother, grandfather and both my aunts, I know she is being spoilt, and is truly with an amazing people. Which causes tears because I wish she was with me...and how much I miss my grandmother even 9 years later every time I go to Edmonton I want to go and visit her. So many memories I have of her.

1 comment:

Wiley's Mommy said...

I have been thinking about Mother's Day being around the corner too. My first Mother's day and my baby isn't here to share it with me. This year will be 13 years since I lost my grandma. I think about her holding my baby in Heaven. It is comforting to think about, although I wish they were both here. Thinking of you!!