DISCLAIMER: This blog is being used to help me deal with the passing of our daughter Emelina, whom was delivered stillborn on Feb 21. These are MY feelings and I will not be sorry for having them.

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Easter Weekend Overall

I have had a HORRIBLE weekend...it has had moments that have been enjoyable but this weekend has been so tough. I spent Saturday crying as my posts says, later that night I went to get the Easter stuff and what do I find but a sleeping husband that almost put me over the top...I had already told him who uninterested I was with this whole holiday...after me turning the light on he got up and helped with setting up the Easter Hunt...which I cried through it was horrible.  Sunday, Cat was up early and Mariusz decided that it was probably better to have me sleep in as I had spent the previous 2 nights tossing and turning...He got up and did the Easter hunt in the house with Cat. I got up in time for breakfast and spent a good part of that morning in tears. I was so bad that I was very strongly considering not going to dinner at my friends because I could not shake my mood. I ended up falling a sleep and when I woke up I felt some what better and decided to attempt dinner after a nice long walk we headed out and it was a good night. I had one overwhelming moment after dinner when all the kids were going nuts so I took Cat and we went for a short walk allowing me to calm her down and re centre myself..Dinner was exactly what we need and I am so grateful to have such amazing friends that made it an easier day for me. Thank you K and D, oh and to K's Mom for all the cooking.

Where I am a few days later still not in a great mind frame...I am told a few steps forward and a few steps back is how this grief thing works and boy are we are few steps back...I am so happy to have my workouts as my outlet because no matter how angry or frustrated or sad I am they seem to provide a centering that I need.

Here are some pictures from Easter:
Easter Hunt at the Local School

So excited for her own Tissues

Easter basket and her gift from us

Cat and her new BFF


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