DISCLAIMER

DISCLAIMER: This blog is being used to help me deal with the passing of our daughter Emelina, whom was delivered stillborn on Feb 21. These are MY feelings and I will not be sorry for having them.

Friday, March 16, 2012

Exercise and Shopping

one that I am beginning  to LOVE and one I am HATING, can you guess which is which....

Well I am beginning to LOVE EXERCISE... I have always enjoyed running but I never realized how much it allows me to focus on nothing but my body, breathing and music. I got my program today from my trainer and it is going to be challenging but I think I am going to rock it, lots of core work and back/front work just want I want.

Now you may wonder how any women could HATE shopping well, I hate it now unless I am doing it on-line...I still love on-line much to my husbands horror. I hate going to stores...Last weekend I went to Walmart, bad idea...tonight Costco even worse. I went to Costco to stock up and pick up a bathing suit (part of my fitness program is going to have me back into swimming which I have not done in 12 years scary), what is Costco and walmart filled with...

BABY clothes, diapers, and books, not to mention the pregnant women and babies. All of these things SUCK when you are grieving the loss of an infant, I kept thinking at both places I should be here with Emmie...I should be buying baby stuff not avoiding these areas and at Costco good luck avoiding baby stuff they put it all over the place...I know I could have avoid both for a little longer  (I can only trust my husband to do so much of the shopping, he is wonderful but he does not enjoy it nor will spend the time to price things out like I do) but wanted to get it over with, I have no desire to go back to either I was feeling fine before going into both and coming out I am sad...we were suppose to go out for dinner tonight and I bailed and had Mariusz go though the drive thru at Wendy's so we could eat in the truck...

It is amazing that 4 weeks ago I had no idea that I would be avoiding doing something I use to like...

“We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.” -E.M. Forester

No comments: